Perfect man

Men. Don’tcha love’em? I do. In fact, I very do. Why? Well, as my year-end blog housekeeping took me on a walk of posts passim, I noticed that I have mentioned the Beta Boys on a number of occasions.

The Beta Boys: my litmus panel of non-alphas, those that provide the objective male opinion for which I have so much respect.

Less referenced, but more generously described are the wonderful women whom I gathered “at home” last year for the Clever Women’s Dinner; a night of mutual admiration, warmth and recognition amongst twenty girlfriends, many who had never met and many who have become soul mates since.

But what of my Barside Bevy of Boys? The Betas are the most important of my men friends; a concentrate of the cleverest on the planet. Each differently brilliant. Brains the size of houses. Conversation to die for.  Looks? Well, here’s the rub: each is very handsome in his own way.

Let me explain. I’m not the kind of Girl that is necessarily attracted to the Brad Pitts of this world for either romance or companionship. Indeed, for most of my life I have had a crush on Eric Morecambe. Why? Clever as hell, funny as fuck and legs to die for. What more can a woman possibly want? If Perfect Man has walked upon this earth, he has done so in the guise of Eric Morecambe. A fine example of handsome, shaped by intellect and humour.

But that’s what’s lovely about lovely men: intellect and humour. Give me a good brain and I’ll give you a man I could fall in love with. Give me brawn and I’ll give him straight back.  There’s nothing sexy about a body without brain.

Let’s look at what makes men unique, then. Assuming the brain has got us all interested, wherein lies the physical attraction? In his way, each has a highly individual feature that will seal the sex appeal. The most striking assets that combine with mind, to make my pulse race and heart melt are (in no particular order and only one is strictly necessary to do the job):

• Deep-set crinkly eyes
• Heavy eye lids
• Neat and tidy ear-lobes
• Interesting nostrils
• Well turned collar bone
• Expressive mouth
• Strong hands
• Nice ankles

My Beta Boys are the the kind of men I love and as it happens, they share between them every single one of the physical traits mentioned above. More than that, they give me a heady combination of compassion, counsel, comedy … and eye-candy. But most of all, they have given me to understand what men can be really good at: being a friend.

Gender bashing, your work is done. In admiration of Boys with Brilliant Brains, I propose a healthy New Year toast:

To Betas the world over, I salute you.

© Giovanna Forte